I never could`ve seen this far
I never could`ve seen this coming
It seems like my world`s falling apart, Yeah
Why is everything so hard
I don`t think that I can deal with the things you said
It just won`t go away

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through, Yeah
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can`t let go
I just can`t find my way, Yeah
Without you I just can`t find my way

I don`t know what I should do now
I don`t know where I should go
I`m still here waiting for you
I`m lost when you`re not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can`t let you go

Sunday, April 20, 2014

3:21 AM
but you never came...

Dear fairy godmother, Had been long since im back here whining... Things had been smooth till... cant really recall. 对与错, 不在于对或错。 而在于你怎么把故事说完。 好不容易得到的机会, 我不会让一些不知所谓的人高砸。 原来, 我一点都不想挽留这段不真诚的友情。 从一开始就不应该这样。 对我而言, 很简单, 工是工, 私是私。私底下, 你做什么, 说什么, 我都能依你, 顺你, 迁就你。工作上, 别和我来这一套。 你所经历的, 不代表要以同样的方式去对待人家。 天呢 ! 我打从心里鄙视你的所作所为。 如果有一天, 当你面对着像你一样的工作伙伴,你就能明白我们大家的感受。 如果你有这么一天的话。 不可原谅的行为。 好幼稚。。。

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

12:18 AM
but you never came...

You have always been the one that let me feel so upset and unhappy. I　ｈａｖｅ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｑｕｅｓｔｉｏｎｉｎｇ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｉｆ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｔｏｏ　ｈａｒｓｈ　ｔｏ　ｍａｋｅ　ｓｕｃｈ　ｄｅｃｉｓｉｏｎ　ｅａｒｌｉｅｒ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｍａｄｅ　．　Ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｓｅｅｍｓ　ｗｈｅｎｅｖｅｒ　ｉ　ｗａｎｔｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｍｏｖｅ　ａ　ｓｔｅｐ　ｆｏｒｗａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｓａｆｅ　ｏｕｒ　ｆｒｅｎｓｈｉｐ　ｔｈａｔ　ｗｅ　ｏｎｃｅ　ｈａｖｅ，　ｉ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｂｅ　ｓｅｅｉｎｇ　ｔｈｉｎｇｓ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅ　ｄｏｎｅ　ｔｏ　ｕｐｓｅｔ　ｍｅ　ａｇａｉｎ　ａｎｄ　ａｇａｉｎ． 我开始决得，　这一次，　真的真的应该要放手了。　 当初，　就不应该进来这里做工。 但既然进来，　就不会后悔。 现在，　在此宣布，　我，　从今天开始，少了一个曾经和我很要好的朋友。　一个我觉得，可以和我一起到老的知己。 此时此刻，　我们的关系，　纯粹只有同事罢了！ 尝试过但失败了。 冷静后的思想和结果，就是不要在痛心以心烦。 那位同事，　如果，　你的选择是假装，　不要在费时了。　应为，　这一切的一切，都不重要了。。。　 我诚心的希望你能幸福快乐。 Ｇｏｏｄｂｙｅ　

Friday, January 11, 2013

11:54 PM
but you never came...

Dear fairy god mother, Happy new year to you. i kinda have mixed feeling now... i feel upset when i cant get things right. i think i am bavk to ownself Mayb i should not have joined a firm wer my frens are in. i feel isolated... i am feelong abandoned. i dun have a sense of belonging . and i dun like this feeling. Thank you for reminding me of the goals and objectives ive aet earlier... I should not be spending time on something that is near to impossible for now. should'nt i be concentrating on my career path, my future ahead? Rather than to be upset Nd agitated over these... RIBBISH! I Would say .... 6 months! and first month is finishing soon. i should rest my mind and concentrate on my objectives and goals. that shall and will be my first piority ... isn't it? But still ... im pretry upsst... Rest in peace little one .... i know god is looking after you on the other side there wun be anyone abusing u on e other side... all will be good my dear ... u will be missed.. Take good care ... and pls do look after her k.... hope she will be fine soon. we all love you. with love, best regards, Quanxin

Saturday, December 15, 2012

7:50 PM
but you never came...

Dear fairy god mother, Christmas is around the corner. Which means New Year is around the corner too. Time to list down some resolution in mind. Oh ya, I've left Jtan and Co for good. Too much complication and unhappiness. I know, i did the right choice, which is, to move on. Somehow or rather, i think keith and i do have the same thinking. We should be happy to move on, to somewhere that is nearer to what we want us to be at. But surprisingly, we aren't feeling that way though... I'm not sure why am i feeling this way, I got a new job in hand, so nothing to worried about. A job with a better prospect not forgetting, with much more benefits. Be it or not, even after i left the company, the unhappiness did not stop there. I don't understand why this kind of ppl still even exist in this world. Lord ask us not to be greedy Buddhist said that money is the root to all evil. And there, you guys are cheating on my encash annual leave. Since i decided to start afresh, to a new place, i shall put a full stop to this. But do not force me to forgive such ppl, they don't deserve it! New job new place new colleague. I wanted to enter in as Cynthia Yeoh and not Joanna's friend. I know its nothing wrong with it ... but still .... 6 months is all i have to excel. To much as i wanted to go to China for biz trip, i know and told myself, somethings just can't be forced. I have to prove myself first. I don't know if i made a right decision to go into a firm that a fren is in it. There is no time to regret on such. Hence, my dearest fairy god mother... pls, pls blessed me with great colleagues ahead, great opportunities to excel, great chance to prove myself with my knowledge. I will be good with all blessing ... See you 6 months later! Ciaoz! Best regards, Quanxin

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

12:39 AM
but you never came...

Dear fairy god mother, I'm glad to be here, a place of my own. Just when I told myself to grab hold of opportunities that laid in front of me, it seems to b getting further n further away from me. I couldn't help to start to doubt my capabilities. I start to think if I had done anything wrong? I hate seeing myself being compared with others. But somehow or rather, I couldn't help comparing myself with others. Seriously:- I hate to feel like a "second" I hate it when, I am being chuck aside when priority ppl are ahead. I hate it to see that my opportunities are so near yet so far. I don't see why ppl get special treatment among others. I am not saying they don't deserve such treatment, I am trying to tell you that WE ourselves don't deserve as such. There are a lot of frustration within me. It's not like I don't grab hold of opportunities. It's just that, is there any opportunities given to me in the first place to prove myself. One more day and I'm officially 1year old in audit. Tell me, how much have I learnt? I wasted almost half a year to complete some rubbish, I spent almost another half a year doing sections with we call let the sheep to eat the grass sections. I barely manage to get a little more in depth in my audit, opportunities were thrown away to others. I'm not happy seriously speaking, I am not. I understand that, in this world, nothing is fair... But fark! I don't think I deserve such!!! For god sake!!!! Help me dearest fairy god mother together w Jesus. Show me a path ... Wer I can make my way through... Regards, Quanxin.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

10:36 PM
but you never came...

Dear fairy god mother,

HAPPY 2011 NEW NEW NEWEST YEAR TO yaa!!!

It had been some time since i visited you here.
Life have been good for me with great colleagues and pals ard me.
Life have been more enjoyable with ppl tat i am with.

I am sick ...
serve me right for playing out late.

actually ....
if u asked,
i just wanted to say that ...
today,
i came in here for the same reason as the previous.

Dear godmother,
i believed that i have been good for the year 2011.
And i really think that u have been nice to me,
by allowing myself to get a job that i have passion in,
GREAT colleagues who will entertain me with,
Great seniors to guide me along the audit path,
Great frens that i have in the audit firm.

I understand that happy moments will not last forever.
and i will always remember them deeply in my heart,
though i have been telling the whole day especially xj that,
we might not be contacting anymore after she left.
I knew very clearly tat,
its not like i do not have any tiny muny bit of confidence in my fren,
Its just that, i do not have the confident in myself in continuing our path.

Dear fairy god mother,
i know its wrong to make comparisons between ppl especially frens.
I LOVE to receive surprises and gifts.
But this year Christmas, i do not have the same feelings and happiness i had compare to previous year.
I feel like ppl ard me seriously dun understand me at all. My likes and dislikes.
ppl dun seems to take my words seriously.
i'm feeling quite abit of complicated.
i dunno what i am thinking abt actually

i feel jealous when i see my frens receiving the gifts that they want when i don't.
i feel upset when i cant afford to wad i want desperately.
i feel terrible when ... its the money issues that i can't get it.

Sister was right. that was a want not A NEED.
i feel so depressing
serve me right for upsetting myself for the impossible.
fuck it! i seriously wants it badly!

I'm UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm feeling so INBALANCE!!!!!!

i know i should not feel this way.
BUT IT JUST CANT BE HELP! U UNDERSTAND!

and finally, i told myself, kao bie ren, bu ru kao zhi zi. At least i know, i wun suffer from rejection.

okie enough for my grumbling. was supposed to set new year resolutions, yet ...
Shall do it tml then!

Love ya dearest fairy god mother.

With many many love
Cynthia

Sunday, July 17, 2011

4:43 PM
but you never came...

Ppl often tend to have a decision in their mind before asking ppl for opinion. Finally someone told me something i wanted to hear all these while. But still....i'm nt happy.

I'm nt sure wad is holding me back. If u were to ask abt the benefits abt joining the company. The only reason i M abpe to give is to know a couple of great frens. I'm seriouly confuse.

I hope tT i'm able to let out my feelings within me. But somehow or rather, i cant. I tried.... I know.... But still. .. Back to square.

Dear fairy god mother,
I had a dream yesterday night. I dream of JT &CO. Its a pleasant dream.and its affecting me much somehow.

I dislike hearing ppl saying of leaving for the sake of leaving. Which i had been doing this frequently lately. Hence i wun b doing it again. The nxt time when i say will b the time i tender.
想做回以前的我。可以吗?

I just wanna b a simple person leading a simple life.
I will look forward to a day where my silent prayers get answered. That's what faith can do.