My heart is so empty

2012-01-01T22:36:00.002+08:00

Dear fairy god mother,

HAPPY 2011 NEW NEW NEWEST YEAR TO yaa!!!

It had been some time since i visited you here.
Life have been good for me with great colleagues and pals ard me.
Life have been more enjoyable with ppl tat i am with.

I am sick ...
serve me right for playing out late.

actually ....
if u asked,
i just wanted to say that ...
today,
i came in here for the same reason as the previous.

Dear godmother,
i believed that i have been good for the year 2011.
And i really think that u have been nice to me,
by allowing myself to get a job that i have passion in,
GREAT colleagues who will entertain me with,
Great seniors to guide me along the audit path,
Great frens that i have in the audit firm.

I understand that happy moments will not last forever.
and i will always remember them deeply in my heart,
though i have been telling the whole day especially xj that,
we might not be contacting anymore after she left.
I knew very clearly tat,
its not like i do not have any tiny muny bit of confidence in my fren,
Its just that, i do not have the confident in myself in continuing our path.

Dear fairy god mother,
i know its wrong to make comparisons between ppl especially frens.
I LOVE to receive surprises and gifts.
But this year Christmas, i do not have the same feelings and happiness i had compare to previous year.
I feel like ppl ard me seriously dun understand me at all. My likes and dislikes.
ppl dun seems to take my words seriously.
i'm feeling quite abit of complicated.
i dunno what i am thinking abt actually

i feel jealous when i see my frens receiving the gifts that they want when i don't.
i feel upset when i cant afford to wad i want desperately.
i feel terrible when ... its the money issues that i can't get it.

Sister was right. that was a want not A NEED.
i feel so depressing
serve me right for upsetting myself for the impossible.
fuck it! i seriously wants it badly!

I'm UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm feeling so INBALANCE!!!!!!

i know i should not feel this way.
BUT IT JUST CANT BE HELP! U UNDERSTAND!

and finally, i told myself, kao bie ren, bu ru kao zhi zi. At least i know, i wun suffer from rejection.

okie enough for my grumbling. was supposed to set new year resolutions, yet ...
Shall do it tml then!

Love ya dearest fairy god mother.

With many many love
Cynthia

what should i do?

2011-07-17T16:43:00.002+08:00

Ppl often tend to have a decision in their mind before asking ppl for opinion. Finally someone told me something i wanted to hear all these while. But still....i'm nt happy.

I'm nt sure wad is holding me back. If u were to ask abt the benefits abt joining the company. The only reason i M abpe to give is to know a couple of great frens. I'm seriouly confuse.

I hope tT i'm able to let out my feelings within me. But somehow or rather, i cant. I tried.... I know.... But still. .. Back to square.

Dear fairy god mother,
I had a dream yesterday night. I dream of JT &CO. Its a pleasant dream.and its affecting me much somehow.

I dislike hearing ppl saying of leaving for the sake of leaving. Which i had been doing this frequently lately. Hence i wun b doing it again. The nxt time when i say will b the time i tender.
想做回以前的我。可以吗?

I just wanna b a simple person leading a simple life.
I will look forward to a day where my silent prayers get answered. That's what faith can do.

2010-10-29T18:42:00.002+08:00

人与人之间要如和和睦共处呢？
人们比此能够相遇终就有些缘分。
难到所为的，难已相处为理由就是一种借口？

Hopefully everything goes well for u.
I think you will be a happier person after u leave.
I wish u all the best from the bottom of my heart.
No point staying at a place when u know u have nothing to persue ahead.
As wad i have always said, any decision made by urself will be a right decision.
Jia you!

2010-08-31T23:07:00.002+08:00

Dear fairy godmother,

It had been some time since i am feeling so miserable.
it had been a week since i am back
but the sour-ness just can't get away.

Sometimes i hope u will understand how i am feeling
give me some opinion/suggestion on wad i can or cannot should or should not have done.

I am feeling terrible ... just so terrible.

Tml will b a better day. Yes it will b.

Same to u.

I missed u so much

I'll onli stop missing u when my tears dries up.

regards,

Cynthia Yeoh

2010-08-26T23:30:00.002+08:00

I hate to get attached to ppl as i know i will feel hurt eventually.
Have i ever told u, u are important to me as a friend.

Its kinda difficult to control my feelings recently
I am feeling sooooo sour that i can aactually transform into a lemon.

Yes. Uncontrollable feelings which led to controllable tears.

How long will I b able to take it.

I missed u many lots.
I wish i wish
A wish that my fairy god mother will nvr be able to grant me.
I'm sorry
I really missed u alot.

2010-07-02T00:27:00.002+08:00

Just as i thought that this july will b different from the rest...

after all, it is still another month

and u know wad,

i am still not happy.

NOT HAPPY!

2010-07-01T00:11:00.002+08:00

My dear fairy godmother,

tell me, wad the hell is happening to me!
till date i still dun understand why the hell did i teared tat day ...
it had been a long long time ever since i cried till so ... .... - cannot b control
i know i am hurt.
I hate the feeling of distance
I hate the feeling of being apart
I hate the feeling of unable to meet u anytime anyday
I hate the feeling i have now

I dun seems able to b strong infront of you.
how the hell did i teared infront of 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 and so on ppl infront of me!
TELL ME!!! wad the hell is WRONG WITH ME!

I know my weaknesses very well
ever since "jie" ... it took me yrs to recover back to normal.

I know i need time ...
i hope time will heal everything
I know its not like i'm losing anything
we are just alittle far and further apart ...

BUT still ... why did my heart feel so sour ... why ...

2009-11-30T23:40:00.002+08:00

hmm ... in e end, i'm still back to square.

trying my very best to let go iof certain feelings but i dun seem to b able to.
seeing e comfortable u ahead. all i can do now is only wishing u all e best in everything.

i'm slowly losing my place n i hate her for treating u this way resulting to this fast forward pace.

feel like taking a step back yet afraid tat u will b upset when u findout. feel like throwing everything down n walk off but i'm afraid of regretting once n again.

i once laugh at u for watching moivvie alone which i think tat its rather impossible. my promise was to watch with u whenever u wanted to. and now, you've found ur another, i think i should move away slowly ...

its something to b happy about ... i dun feel good. just dun.

you'll have all my blessing i promise u.

2009-09-03T22:06:00.002+08:00

just a little little update.

for those who know, good for u and thanks for the blessings
for those who do not know,
i'd finally left Carrefour, no doubt a ad hoc, part timer or a full timer.
It doesen't matter.

Feelings did not hit my heart till date.
Not sure why...
but i'm still as concern as who i am to my families over there.
Just a BIG thank you to whoever that comes into or pass by my life in c4

This thing had been holding me back from finding a job.
somehow or rather the feeling is not right...
Results is out
and sorry to say,
i did not make it.
No graduation for me this year
BOO HOO!
serve me right
i did not do my best.
i know.

She commented on something
which i believe its rather true
Ppl can work and study at the same time,
its onli me who can't
cause according to her, i'm a lazy bum.

Full time studies vs Full time work.
It doesn't make any sense after all
serve me right for not fulfiling the agreement that i had made before accepting the offer.
- Attending lectures without fail - X
- Doing tutorials as it should be done - X
- Putting my studies b4 work - X

All i did was to work, sleep, work, sleep,class,sleep,work,work,sleep
Its a nice try but it isn't the ending that i want.
I'll never regret every path that i have taken
Its the process that matters.
i learn and enjoy alot throughout
i made lots of frens

My dear fairy god mother.
i had been a good worker to the society
but i haven been a good student in klass
resulting all these results
blame no one but myself

this is the first time ever,
i feel sooo helpless
i'm a failure
and again,
try to find a person to sort my thoughts out
but ended up unable to

just a tot ...
maybe u aren't the perfect 1
nothing is fair in this world
everything is just a dream
isn't it?

With lots of love,
Cynthia

2009-06-29T22:17:00.002+08:00

Dear blogger,

She had been feeling real up n down recently,
she had been feeling vexed for nothing
She had been slacking in her job

Not even the best food is able to cheer her up
Not even her daily entertainer is able to make her smile
Not even the slightest good news makes her happy

SIGH*

Yes ... thats me ...
Cynthia Yeoh
DOWN DOWN DOWN !!!
FEELING SO DOWN ...
sigh*

My dear fairy god mother ...
where are u ...
i really need some advice here...
help~

2009-06-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

feeling up and down

decision is finalised n so be it

its a visual cycle

it will be

ANOTHER TRIP GUYS!!!

CRUISE MY DARL N QUACKIES!!

quackquack~

2009-06-05T15:03:00.002+08:00

lack of motivation and everything...
counting the days that i'm not in da right mood

walking here and there aimlessly
from the begin till the end.
i'm in no right position to console anyone out there
cos i'm stuck within myself

peharps we are just waiting for one another

I'M SERIOUSLY NOT IN ANY MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 6 and counting!!!

even the nicest food in the world can't cheer me up ....
icecream?? neH~

2009-05-25T15:19:00.002+08:00

i dun feel like going anymore ...

2009-05-21T13:23:00.000+08:00

tell me something that can make me happy
tell me something why should i be happy
tell me if i should let go

i'm trying to feel happy for our trip ...
somehow or rather,
something is stopping me from being hyper
i din wanna spoil anyone else's mood
so ... i'll just smile thru my way
hopefully things will get better each days ...

Why am i still enduring
when nothing can be done
to change the fact that
they are living in their world?

ciaoz ... time to study
sigh*

2009-04-30T13:54:00.004+08:00

A good news and a bad news for dept 73

Welcome back my dear sayang sayang linquack!
Goodbye, my fellow dear goose ...

Too much to say
too little to put in words
Changes the changes,
thats e onli way in life

Will be gone missing for a period of time. Exams around e corner!
Mug Mug Mug !!!

You guys is one of the best presents heaven gave it to me

i promise i'll treasure it

at the mean time,
endure for a month ...
jia you for all
misses misses and more misses ...

i'll work as hard.
to make Singapore snow =P
CIAOZ

2009-04-23T13:43:00.003+08:00

ITS NEARING !!! OMG ITS NEARING!!!!
i wished X-Men would come soonest possible
but on the other hand not to
cos it means exams are nearing.

I hate the feeling of stucking at home
Staying along with my books
- A NO LIFE CYN it seems

i can't wait for everything to be over
i can't wait to finish off my paper fast!
but on the other hand,
i'm still not prepared with all these.

I knew something awaiting for me when i am back
which makes me reluctant in returning
I knew clearly if i were to announce now for wadever i wanted to announce,
it'll weakens the morale for sure
and now it seems me stucking with myself,
with no one to turn to except for u...
my dearest blog

Standing at the edge of the cliff
with no one to turn to
no other places to go to
should i step a step back, a step front
or should i just stay still?

whateva it seems,
i'm just utterly disappointed with something.

aHA!!!
X-men coming soon!!!
my outing is nearing!!!
Missing all of u so much!
loves to all =)

Ciaoz ...

p/s i promise tat i'll TRY to love studying ...
so Singapore can snow...
i'm trying ... trying ...Zzzz

2009-04-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

One and a half months of leave commence last Monday
Had a fruitful 2 days of joy and its time to start mugging.
Was a little worried at the beginning ...
but some things have to let go.

Studying isn't my cup of tea.
told myself, its important to get at least a paper out of it if not i'll be an empty shell.
I once love any subject that deals with numbers and calculation till now, i dun understand a single thing out of it.

P/S : Every single of ur action and words are affecting me alot. SIGH*

I need to mug and u need a cup =D LOVES to ALL !!

2009-03-13T23:17:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry ...
to whoever i'd flared anger to recently

i'm not wad i'm used to be ...

hmm ...

or maybe,

maybe ...

maybe ...

this is just me?

2009-03-02T14:28:00.003+08:00

i'm not happy.
simply feeling upset and unhappy
The feeling is somehow back again after 8mths
its back hunting me again...

I got alittle fed up when things dun go the way i want it to be
i got upset when i can't met expectation
i got upset whenever whatever things happen around me when i am upset.
i'm not a perfectionist
no one is perfect in this world
just no one

I got tired easily recently
exhausted in both mentally and physically
Tried talking my feelings out
but ... there seems no way out

i know it isn't your fault
but i'm just in a foul mood recently
and i simply dun understand why.
i love everyone of you here
but it seems like every single of ur action just pissed me off

*self motivation*
i dunno how this will goes on...
just ... take a step at a time ba

Hate the feeling of laughing for the sake of laughing
Hate the feeling for not laughing from the bottom of my heart
Just simply hate it ...
but still ... dunno why ...

i'll be okie i promise ...
give me some time ...
sigh*

2009-02-25T22:43:00.002+08:00

hey hey i'm back to blog!!

hmm recently feng shui is abit down at my side
hmm... troubles seems coming in
no doubt if its incoming or outsourcing like free flow.

little girls treating work like a game
i always believe in retribution.
what comes around, goes around
it wun take long
to let a person to know
the meaning of life

Miss boey left a msg for me !!
No doubt how "heavy color" you are,
you are still be missed*

Exams is around the corner
mugging is a must must for me
trying hard to find the feelings that i used to hold before
i can do it
i can ...
Endure for the moment.
just merely 3 months and everything will be over.
come on !!!
but still ....
SIGH*

2009-02-12T16:46:00.002+08:00

aRloz!!

hmm had a meeting with my babes last weekend
feeling contented!!!
drink drank but not drunk!!
seeing each and everyone of them doing good and healthy
makes me a happy person too!!
More meet up plssss
majong majong session lar!

Forgive but never forget...
it had been years since we had last talked to each other
thou gathering resume as per normal,
i can't really open my heart to welcome u back as my friend
We were once so good,
We were once so close,
But everything just change within a night.
it'll nvr be the same anymore.
Maybe we were not meant to be this way
or maybe i needed somemore time to digest away wad had actually happen
or maybe we'll stay like this forever...
MAYBE ...

hmm... okie
prelims timetable out
followed by revision class time table.
exams will be coming in 3 months time.

hmm... my mind is filled with lotsa things
tend to daze in the air at a point of time
not sure of what i had in mind
a resting point

i'm tired ... again ...
just feeling restless ...
sigh ..
whats wrong ...
haix ...

Just a thought. A need to improve my English. Dun want ppl to laugh at me for life...
hmm
quack quack

Loves to all !

2009-02-04T03:10:00.003+08:00

kua kua kua

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
Ang bao na lai!!!

hmm... lonely sleepless night
sis went hong kong ...
me and my procasting of trip trip trip
till everyone had came back from oversea,
i'm still stuck in SINGAPORE LAR !!!!

Seriously speaking, nothing can describe my feelings.
dazing in the air with tons of things undone.
when slowly assignment and test is coming to the end,
thinking of enjoying for a week before mugging,
6 days work is back in action.

pros and cons i should say.
A no life lifestyle i'm having now
neither am i sad nor happy
feel like a robot repeating the same thing over and over again
blarblarblarblar

A way of life.
Never look into the past
i still miss the misses
i still miss my kakis soooo much
i still miss my sisters
i simply miss each and everyone of you
but thats all i could do...

I love the ppl that i'm working with
I love the ppl that surround me each days
I love each and everyone of them to the core
but thats all i could do ...

basically NOTHING else...
1 year later,
where will i be?
how abt 2 yrs later?
3,4,5,6 ................ blarblarblar

Staring in space
not sure where am i standing at current
haix ...
whatever

nevertheless,

hmm
procasting..

Genting, cruise, thailand or KL??
=D my trip trip trip

2009-01-12T13:45:00.002+08:00

Finally start off with my 2009

Wasn't a good start but neither as bad as it could.

I dun feel good recently at work...
did quite a couple of mistakes
got some feedbacks
and will improve on it.

Guess whatever happened lately
must have upset and disappoint her
affecting her alittle

i'm not a perfectionist
but i do have certain level of expectation
especially towards myself
accumulation of all mistakes reflecting a bad side of me
the feeling is kinda unbearable
especially when mistakes were being pointed out one after another
blame no one but for myself
thinking of minimizing the mistakes made
but ended up coming in like free flow.

It had been a long time
i'd felt demoralised
trying my very best to stand up positively
but somehow or rather,
i choose to avoid and not to face the reality

A point where
one had reached the junction
can't really decide which way to go
beginning to have mixed feelings,
looking at my "goingtogetinhand" degree
accounting vs retail

i got tired of "just for the sake of smiling"
i got tired of being a person i dislike
i got tired of trying to cheer myself up by saying tml will be a better day
i got tired of apologising for my mistake
Basically, i got tired of myself.

taking up everything as a challenge
my "NEVER SAY DIE" spirit will never die for sure!
i'll be okie for sure
just needed some time to revise my tots

ciaoz my love ones =D

2009-01-07T15:49:00.003+08:00

was viewing at others blog and i came across this !!

haha find it rather rythme and funnie ... keke
copyright!

1 to 10 and back to 1 :

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and I 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don’t un derstand. I am so nice 2 him but I don’t know what he 1.

die lar ... if TIGER darl were to see this, 1pm to 3pm, english class again ... sigh*
LOL!! LOVES LOVES LOVES!

Ciaoz ...
my 5k wordy report .... sigh*
god bless me ...

2008-12-29T17:30:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!!!

As usual counting down in store at suntec city
followed by a nice nice meal after work with my dear, boon and darl!

- Thanks for all the chocolates, accessories and my DORAEMON! many many thanks to all =D simply just contented having all of you ard me.

1st of January 06, someone deary to me left suntec and joined ps
1st of January 09, another deary will be leaving to join there.
Wishing u all the best in future endervous.
You can do it and lets strive hard together.
We just strive hard in our individual ways,
one day we'll get wad we yearn for...

Life is short, so lets live happily. My love.
You will have all my blessing. i promised.

2 more days to end of 2008.

Time for my new year resolution and wishlist!
1)Graduate from SIM ( if possible)
2)Better management of time
3)Better relationship with everone anyone else
4)May everyone ard me be blessed and happy as always.

last but not least!
hopefully i'll be able to go overseassss !!!
more and more overseas trip!
Hong kong taiwan thailand KL
it dosen't matter where i'm going
simply just hope to get out of here for awhile to ease my thoughts

backpack holiday !! anyone interested?
how abt new zealand?

examssss comiing in MAY!!!

i'm going to start procasting sooooooooooooooon!!!
ciaoz guys!

2008-12-17T15:34:00.005+08:00

Sleepless night
Was down with common cold
coughing like there is no tml
poor poor me...

Accept me for who i am
Human being lives not for others but for yourself
i dun believe in," as long as your are happy, i'll be happy"
Being noble?
What kind of bullshit terms are this?
Dun sound logic isn't it?

2008 hasn't been a smooth year for me ...
both good and bad side
Most of my kakis left
but on the other hand,
met a group of good colleagues
we had both the bad and good times
up and down, left and right.
i'm glad to have them.
Thank god, i'm glad i still have all of you.

dazing in the space,
pending my thought
i'm still being the usual me
back of ownself
where things are kept within me and myself no one else
Things getting more and more complicated
Is this really wad i always want
or what others really wants it to be?
Laughing and smiling for the sake of it
flashing back of the times when you'er alone
The feeling is coming back slowly ...
pls... go away ... just go away ...

2009 will be a better year i believe!!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST LU LU JIE!!!!
Wishes kisses with lovessss!!!

CIaoz

2008-12-12T19:03:00.002+08:00

Read this book " The secret" . Which really inspire me ...
Found a video clip on that.
Good things will be shared.
I WANNA BUY THAT DVD !!!! YEAH!!!!!!!
Enjoy the show guys!

2008-12-09T10:04:00.003+08:00

sleepless night.

woke up damn early today ...
a feeling of emptiness.

my goals vs friendship

it had always been something contridicting within me

Regret is somehow like a post event
too late to be realise
hence i wun do it

my tots seems to be fighting within me
50 vs 50
so ?!?

Get a life!
take a step at a time
slowly and steadily

My dear fairy god mother,

i know i did a bigbig mistake this year
till date, i hope someone out there would approach me,
telling me that i'm going the right way.

pls dun give up on me as years past
- as per our agreement last christmas,
i did control my temper well.
=D
any prezzies this year round?

2008-12-03T16:59:00.002+08:00

Had a chat with someone earlier on ...
exchanging my tots with hers
refreshing my thoughts and decision.

thinking through and reshuffle my thoughts.
i'm running out of time.
i'm out patience
tell me in my face if i haven give u guys enough time.
6 months had past,
tell me wad have we done?
sad to say,
i've wash my hands off
and have to let her handle all these
my hope my goal my everything
for the sake of my team ...
this is my only way only hope

Disappointment and more disappointment.
the way how you commented it confidently to the way you actually sat down and shut ur fucking mouth up.
At that point of time,
i knew my decision was rite.

its not just a matter of changing of uniform.
others out there are awaiting for me to perform
which i know i will.
it takes 2 hands to clapped
its very easy to met my basic expectation
impress me by exceeding my expectation.
it isn't impossible, just a piece of mind and attitude towards work.

We shall see, we shall
i'll be a different me
tats all i have to say.

2008-12-01T15:56:00.002+08:00

I told myself to endure to everything.
am i overloaded with things
am i over stress over certain issues.

somehow or rather
there isn't any yes or no to this

i'm tired of seeing myself making mistakes
i can't stand the fact that,
all these were somehow created by me.
having headaches recently...

bad mood poor mood, not in a mood = no mood.
somehow or rather, neither ice cream can cheer up me.

i'll still be me. no worreis.

ciaoz

i'm missing u greatly ...

2008-11-18T13:04:00.002+08:00

something had been bugging me lately.
not sure what is it and wad causing it.
but ... it affects my mood greatly.

Had an agreement
hopefully this will work out ...
if not i really dunno wad else can i do.

To gain something, had to lose something ...

The days at traffic light, the days under the block
the days we had strawberry sundae.
a conversion of a hot fudge lover to a strawberry lover,
It had been years ...

Its a difficult choice ...
but somethings, we still have to let go ...
slowly steadily ...

2008-11-10T11:26:00.002+08:00

majong session with long mei, jess, qiang qiang and dai dai at adeline's place.
me lost money!!! but truely enjoying every single moments
Had dinner follow by chit chat session. We start to talk abt the past,
qiang qiang batch, follow by mine then cmw, then lbk vs long mei.
talking abt the queues we used to face, the enjoyable moments we used to have.
our long weekends, aws, recognition, etcetc.

I always had this mentality of re-building cashiering team,
to a place where it use to be when i first stepped in.
thats wad keeps me going.
and each time i failed, it demoralise me greatly.
A feeling that non of u will understand cos neither of u had gone thru this.

I once thought that you knew me best.
but seems i was wrong.
somehow its hard for me to express out my feelings and the things i face to u
cause somehow or rather,the trust isn't there anymore.
i'm not use in telling ppl wad i think and feel.
i tot that i wun find anyone whom i can trust anymore in c4 after both of them left.
surprisingly, i'd found! not just 1 BUT 3!!!
3 ladies found, 3 ladies whom i trust e most in work and as a friend.
3 of a different race. COOL!~
Be it or not. Actions speak louder than words.

i always believe,
people don't do dosen't mean they dunno how to do,
and also,
people don't say it out dosen't mean they dunno anything abt it
its just a matter of thought
no one is invincible
no one is irreplaceable
Be yourself is one thing
We were once given a chance to prove ourselves
its just a matter of how u treasure it.

Comparing hurts...
hardwork always payoff.
dosen't have to be now.
another of my believes.

my life is slowing getting back to normal ...
leisure work leisure work ...
shit !!! WHERE's STUDIES!!! DAMN!

2008-11-06T13:17:00.002+08:00

Down with flu and cough.
hmm got a feeling it'll takes me weeks to recover.
nono for a doctor. DUN WANT!

Finally went for the interview on tue.
so far so good as it was by norman.
nice fellow and he treated us coffee bean! LOVES!
Be it a good decision or a bad one
striving hard is wad i can do now.
The feeling of tense, stress, anger, and everything
it'll be a whole new me after changing the top.

Somehow the bad feeling is coming back ...
trying hard to calm it down ...
slow and steady cyn ... everything will be just fine.
i lost something after some incident
something tat will be lost forever.
unless i were to think it through myself,
if not it'll hunt me for life.

Get a life everyone!

To be or not to be.

last but not least,
be it or not,
i'll be the nasty one.

2008-10-20T12:43:00.003+08:00

this is still the place to place my feelings down.
recently, i've learnt to speak up my tots and feelings to ppl out there
but when realising that they had their own individuals worries and tots,
i decided to keep it to myself once again
its rather hard for a person to open up heart and tots
especially for me
no worries guys, i'm okie

A decision made with no regrets and i wun regret.
It's a nice place afterall.
with all the good and nice people ard.
I happy with the things i'm handling and the ppl ard me

knowing very clearly that i would lost something if i would to gain something.

but somehow, something is missing.
as much as i would want and hope to change the environment back to the beginning,
the feeling is just total different.

Boon kiat n xiao qiang came down
suddenly missed the days where we worked together.
no doubts there'll be misunderstanding and quarelling,
in the end, everything will be easily cleared up.
forgive n forget.

Those days where we went out after work,
drinking session, singing session, eating session, etc etc
everything seems to be gone within a split of light.
my kakis had all vanished into thin air.

think abt it again.
is this really wad i want?
wad would my future be like?

get a life!

2008-10-09T13:28:00.002+08:00

A simple question just for myself.
is this really wad i want?

told wenxin abt it,
she gave a remark, expected.

i wun denied, i'd been rejecting the same offer again and again
till date, i'm proudly to say,
yes, i'd accepted the offer

i believed that there should nvr be regrets in my decision

sometimes i really dun understand the people around me.
why should u make urself suffer after making a decision
and make it as if the whole world owes u a living?

Dun ever try to test my patience
i dun have one

When i say that i'll be the mean one,
i'll be one
take it or leave it.

Get a life!

Living in a world of ducks ... i'm fortunate enough to be one
LOVES =P

2008-09-23T11:53:00.002+08:00

9 more days to an ans.
thats wad i promise myself.
opportunities dosen't wait for ppl,
seize it now or NVR!

Lots of ppl gave valuable feedbacks,
showing positive feedback, understanding and supportive.
i'll be able to do it,
onli if i promise myself something.
we shall see

Anyway carrefour is having warehouse sale located at serangoon ave 4
from 24th Sept to 1st Oct.
i'll be back to busy mode recently.
hopefully to blog out good news after when i'm back.

sometimes, one dun have to think too much for an ans.
just give an ans to urself and everything will be settled.
i'm just thinking too much.

last but not least,
she is a nice person
in order to maintain this,
i'm going to be the mean one.
hmm
get a life!

take care guys!

2008-09-16T12:05:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling rather down,
yet its impossible to show them all my unhappiness
especially to my fellow quackies clan.

i'll not going to repeat my mistakes again and i'm not!
As usual, it'll be just be as good to keep everything within my heart.
though its not the best way to heal, and i'm not feeling as comfy, at least the people around me will be feeling as per normal.

we shall see we shall see
i'll try to update a long one asap when i've the time

last but not least, school reopen liao ...
and its still not easy to jaga both at the same time especially for now ...
And i'm tired...

2008-08-26T17:39:00.002+08:00

It always rain on my offdays!
i'm stuck at home and slack.
It had been so long since i'd stay at home for more than 12hours!
no nice shows showing on tv,
i'm lazy to pack my expired notes,
i'm being force to seat infront of my comp and blog!

Results will be out any other day recently.
BE it end of Aug or beg. of sept.
i'm officially starting school on the 15th Sept.

Somewhere in June,
She came into the picture.
Somewhere in July,
I've lost almost all of my capable working colleagues
In exchange,
i get myself to know a whole new group of nice people out there.
Somewhere in June,
after had a small chat with Joseph,
i'd made an impulsive decision
And Thank god,
everything runs smoothly till date.

Quote of the entry: I love the highest and best in all people, i now draw myself the highest and best people.

I wun say that we should be perfect in this world
Besides nothing is fair in this world.
I'm glad that i was given a choice to choose,
and i din regret such decision.
BE it staying or not,
i nvr had a slight thought of join them to the organisation

And somehow or rather,
new management are getting better each days
just in time for my school to be reopen.
lesser burden

And my conclusion is, yes i'm staying.
and i'm going to continue striving hard
But this time round, i'm not going to hold anyone with me.
decisions still lies with u.
to be or not to be, thats a question for you.

COMEX here i come!!!
R.I.P mode from tml onwards.
shall recharge my batt till the fullest today!

2008-08-24T17:07:00.002+08:00

I should'nt have told her that stupid lie
and now i dun even know how to expose it

i'm a dead duck ...

dead dead duck ...

2008-08-23T16:24:00.003+08:00

hmm... end of August is approaching ...

i dun like ppl who lies,
hence i'm going to expose myself one day with my big fat white lie!
BUT! when will it be?

silly me with silly excuses.

Nxt PC fair is on the way, warehouse sales is nxt ...

busy busy busy life!

He told me some things that sound very unpleasant to me
we shall see if it turns out to be real.

What should i do now

2008-08-14T15:51:00.002+08:00

happy belated bufday shu shu!!!

feelings kept revising ...
somehow or rather,
am i doing the right thing
or am i just messing ard?

am i giving a helping hand
or am i sabo-ing?

difference by a line.

so be it ..

time is running out soon.

Where's my thinking cap?

2008-07-30T02:08:00.002+08:00

Before i began with anything, Thanks for all the wishes n prezzies.
i'm 18 this year! it'll continue be that age yearly till i die.
HEH!

Things aren't as simple as i tot it would be.
Both parties feel so weird in meeting each other
Neither one turned up.
*case closed^

i'm rather weak in expressing myself in words
You claim that boon say one should'nt hide he/her feelings
So, allow me to begin.

Firstly, i dun feel agitated at all.
alot more disappointment i could say.

1 month ago,
boon told me not to hold on to anyone else especially both of u
1 month later,
i regret for what i'd done.
My selfishness led to lotsa unhappiness.

With my current position,
I DON'T allow myself to disappoint anyone else out there
management thought that we knew everything
Things which i had only start picking up a month ago,
with only 3 pathetic days to learn
i can't possibly gave a comment:"i don't know"

you can't possibly and wun understand the tiredness surrounding her,
with a "good" working hours of coming in @ 1pm n off at 2plus at nite
2 to almost 3 weeks continuously without any offdays
thinking that by enduring for 2 weeks,
my new MT will be here to share the burden
and only after she realised that
its not up to standard
and later on, she had no one to turn to.

By coming on time n following the schedule is the best support given.
Since u're on schedule, of course u do have the responsibility to continue. If not, to find a replacement.

Truly ask urself
Do u have the responsibility?
If yes,
Have u did ur part?
If yes, lets continue
If wenxin is still ard here,
ask urself from the bottom of ur heart
will the schedule still be exactly like this?
Still yes? fine, then i've got nothing to say.

I dun expect everyone else to work like me n boon
We are insane human beings
i just hope that everything will be just as stable as before
regardless if boon n me is ard or not.

i do hope to get some support from others.
it takes 2 hands to clapped.
i've found one ...
but where's the other one?

i'm fine with all kinds of decisions
it aches me while typing this.
Those words that have been said
it'll be like spilling water,
it can never be able to be collected

Fuck. as if my stress level is still not high enough to suffocate me.

2008-07-24T09:15:00.002+08:00

The feeling of unstability still remains
as days passed by, she reveal more of her thoughts to us

We all agreed to give certain ppl a chance
but it seems that words are easier than done.
i did my part, did u?

as days passed,
its good to see that,
new management are getting better each days

xiao ling zi found her way of life
leaving me n abs lying ard like no one biz
decisions are stil left within us.

MAYBE

maybe i should have let u guys left a month ago
rather than having u guys struggling at this current position.
Being trying to adapt to a whole new environment,
being trying to complete my task on time
i'd seem to have negleted my minority group of colleagues
A month seems to be like years
somehow, i hate the feeling of comparison
n i really hate it

原来，此时此刻，我们还是替代不了他们。

2008-07-18T03:20:00.002+08:00

Had been rather busy lately ...
busy at work but PS: i'm still free on my off days can!
Working isn't an excuse for being not available for other activities
time are often being managed by us not others.

a mixed feeling where my dagege n dajiejie had left us long time ago.

i'm beginning to adapt to a new environment
feeling kinda comfy with the minority circle of friends cum colleagues that i had currently.
feeling a little fortunate compared as before : A feeling of protection

i'm rather glad that she had came into the picture.
but somehow, my heart is still feeling unstable,
everything is just too early for comments.
let the nature takes its flow
we shall see, shall we?

2008-07-16T14:52:00.002+08:00

Too busy to update ..

a gentle reminder to all :

July is here!
My big day is coming up soon!
YEAH!

i'll continue be-ing busy till everything got stabalise.
very soon i hope.

She is a good person.
at least efforts seen rather than just words.

last but not least,
to all my da jie n gege,
all the best! Jia You!

2008-07-05T03:00:00.002+08:00

anyway
i'm outta town for this coming weekend
need a good rest before disaster arrives

things started piling on my shoulders
alittle regret can be felt within my heart
thanks for those who are staying

till date, i'm still unsure how long would i be able to endure

wadever

I'M GONNA ENJOY THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-25T15:15:00.002+08:00

A more independent me.

left over with counting down of days

- Wishing all "graduate" sucessful leavers bon voyage and happiness always

not forgetting all that had decided to stay,

- Jia You. Not for the sake of others but urself. Happiness always .

My heart aches while typing ...

and till now,

i still can't figure it out.

2008-06-21T03:55:00.002+08:00

an impulsive decision made by me myself
Decided to gave her a chance
and also to give myself a chance
hopefully i won't regret such decision
the onli thing i can reassure is,
to render my full support to her!
my new DH!

working isn't a happy issue for me recently ...
my anger is accumulation as days passed by.
everything seems to go haywire
and i'm all alone to cope it.

i dun like being force,
hence for this time round,
neither will i force u guys ard me
i wun further asked

Out of sudden,
i felt myself standing in nowhere
facing a person in a mirror whom i dun even recognise at all
a feeling that is hard for me to express it out
a feeling that noone else out there will understand

by letting everyone resign before me might be a mistake
Do u have this kind of feelings where,
everyone had successfully left except for u
and after u realise that you had'nt even taken a step out?

i just can't figure anything out ...

so be it guys

all the best

2008-06-19T02:44:00.003+08:00

UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED !
i dun understand wads make e changes of not joining us,
A HUGE THUMBS UP TO U !
Maybe, we might ended up not going anywhere just like wad u predict n wad u want
U must be feeling DAMN exicted n happy isn't it?
FINE SO BE IT!
Just like wad ade had said," childish mind n thoughts"
so be it.
we began and end here ... a good ending isn't it

updated
My last pc show
My last topping up of plastics
My last atrium fair

Now i finally understood how louise da jie a.k.a flying tiger captain felt when she tender
and i could'nt agree less to her actions n decisions,
we should be a little more selfish to ourselves compare to others
i'll definitely missed lotsa ppl
but i'm sorry but i have to move on.
shall leave some comments for later

days are counting
conflicts arising
i do really hope that everything is back to normal
i din know that our friendship is that fragile
or should i say,
we are always in a colleague to colleague relationship
i dun like to be forced, neither do i like forcing ppl
as wad boon had said,
he(2) de (2) lai (2) jiu (4) he (2), he(2) bu (4) lai(2) jiu(4) _______
fill in e blanks

2008-06-16T14:06:00.002+08:00

My last ever PC show
though did not went over for all e four days,
at least able to participate in it

My mood hasn't been up ever since i'm back to work
lotsa things cock up yesterday
words were talk off sacastically

i don't understand wad makes the changes
at least we know that we did our best
u dun understand the feeling we holds
u can't see how upset SHE was yesterday.

You are not the only one working hard
but things that you said seems that no one else is except for u

Of course!
We could find all sorts of excuses to defend ourselves
and pushes all the blame on others
yet we don't
cos, it isn' t fair for the rest
things aren't done delibrately
everyone makes mistakes don't we?

* If customers words can be trust, PIGS CAN FLY!

its okie if noone ever speaks up for our dept
but at least,
don't add oil to fire and helping the outsiders and demoralise us.

utterly disappointing ...

I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE BACK MY WORDS!
and i mean what i've said!

2008-06-06T16:57:00.002+08:00

my psp finally arrive !
no pix taken as i dun intend to take one!
all psp black series looks exactly the same isn't it?
wads the big big deal?

Gadgets and more gadgets ...
i dun feel my emotion improving after pampered myself buying one.

4 more days to my last paper
5 more days back to work
6 more days to PC show
10 more days to make a decision

how great ... deadlines n more deadline ..

saw my new dept head
- no good impression seen
but everyone is given a chance
why not?
jia you pals! i'm coming back real soon!

2008-06-03T14:34:00.002+08:00

too much to be put in words

i neeed to burn my notes despertately for a holy drink!!

7days more! 2 more papers

8 more days to step back to c4

9 more days for PC Fair

Lastly, ONE MORE DaY to my PsP!!!!! YEaH

Maybe suh sia is right in her words
ze me zhe me ren xing?
should i be a little more selfish or should we just hug each other and die?
i feeel worried and insecure
Last time i used to have jie to guide me along for all these issues
and now,
after getting all my friends out of it,
i'm still stuck within the problem with no one to turn to.
a decision which is so hard to make

tell me now ...
what should i do?

sometimes things are hard to express it out in words
if only i'm an emotion-less person
everything will be just so easy ...

ciaoz
burning notes in progress : 70% completed!

2008-05-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

i don't have a big heart for everyone out there ...
sometimes, it isn't as easy as u think it was ...
had a stroll out there ...
life isn't as bad as i thought it would be

well ... consequtive days of mnugging!!
can't wait for 10th of june!

shall be in RIP mode unless being DISTURB!!!!

ciaoz.
mugging mugging i love mugging <-- wTh? i must be mad...

2008-05-27T02:47:00.002+08:00

When some things have yet to be settled down, another issue arised.

Ask urself,
is she ur friend or just another passer-by colleague.
and this particular ans of urs,
will be able to unlocked the questions to this problem
Ask urself again,
who will always be there for u when u needed someone to talk to/vent ur anger with?
who will be there worriing abt particular stuff when he/she is on leave.
Who had a better committment in work
who are the warrior which stood beside n to fight the war?
who is the one tat have actions after words
and also, who is the one whom only speaks without actions most of the time?

Now ask urself again,
who is the friend and who is the passer-by colleague?

And now,
IF BOTH WERE IN THE SAME CATOGORY,
NOW TELL ME, WHY AREN'T U TREATING THEM EQUALLY?!?
WHY!?!

Rights,
we have e rights to side people tat u prefered
we call it bias
we had the right to side our race
we call it racist
But when friends finally turned into foes,
what do we call it?

2008-05-25T03:55:00.002+08:00

Just a simple random post to vent alittle of my anger.
i dun meant to be sarcastic, i dun need any answers, neither do i need any replies for it.
i just feel that things should'nt have been done these way.
BUT HACKED!

Well, seriously speaking i'm feeling alittle better compare to last time.
just a little fedup with all the "ons" "okie" "sure" " no prob"
3 of us knew it VERY clearly of the whole incident.
but have u ever realise that somehow it had affect and might ruined something that we had been building up for years.
Still dun think that its an issue to u ?
fine ... lets carry on ...

those problems that happened in the past,
simply dun seems to be n issue to u
fine whatever
accumulation counts
i've always been telling myself,
not to had too much hope on those words with those promises
cos i knew that it wun turn out to be the way
ended up with the same ending again n again

I simply dun understand what change me into a "temper-less" person
which people just take my words for granted
i feel so disappointed in myself,
for not being able to stand out as a friend in ur lives
A "USED" me is found to be worthless

LAO DI FANG ?!?
Okie my heart did feel a little sourish
but i knew i'll soon be back to normal.
Lots of impt stuff waiting for me ahead in June
i've gt no time to grieve over such matters
i hope i'll be able to maintain a good mood till "this special day"

PS. : Lao di fang is no longer a place that i've known
Enjoy ladies, congrats u've found ur entertainment with the right ppl.
as for me, i guess i'd found mine else where.
nites n sweet dreams all.

2008-05-20T15:47:00.002+08:00

Jealousy will capsize the whole ship.
Have u ever give a thought to others before doing some weird actions with silly excuses
competition is a must-must
but i dun really care abt it
but nvr ever make the people around us in a difficult position
or else i'll repay u back double.

i promise i'll not take any silly actions before i'm back in my working position
but, is it a good thing for me to return, it remain as unknown.

Well ... Memories are meant to remain ...
but can it remain permanently?
just like a scar.
well... wad a silly question
wadever!

2008-05-15T15:44:00.001+08:00

想尝试，使用一下我快生锈的华语。

my first entry for May? whatever ...
Emotions dun seem to be improving for me.
Extra burdens added on to it.
Conflicts are unavoidable.

Haiz ... let me be in RIP mode till i get better ba ...

2008-04-21T03:31:00.002+08:00

Sigh*

i'm in a nonowadevernomatterwaditsstillbadmood mode...

i haven been hardworking enough to study

And things start piling into my constriant limited space n edition mind

worse of all, i can't blog things out here due to .....

haix ...

whatever!

2008-04-07T18:13:00.003+08:00

Well first of all ,

a bid goodbye to my E65

and a BIGBIG welcome to my N81

i've lost my precious E65 at work last friday ... damn ...
a Phone which have lotsa memories
and significant resons behind ...
The number of the model meant something to me ...
but to a certain extend ...
thank you for being together with me for the past few months
sorry for not able to celebrate ur 1 yr birthday with ok ..
ok enough of my lame-ness

Maybe the number aren't my lucky number after all
a number or memory which i can't really put down till this date
though ppl have left, everyone moved on including myself ...
but ... things aren't going as smooth as it would be.

Management wise,
was a serious no-no to me ...
a title of mine had allow me to have enough of all unreasonable customers
nothing more i could or wanna take.
I dun like the way where a similar thing was being told and discuss by multiple people.
Different thought n different perception
One would rather us to explore outside and another would wanna push us to the nxt stage
i dun wanna spent my time thinking abt all these shit ...
it just isn't my cup of tea.

My Memories

seriously speaking, i miss working with uncle tan ... we were always so "on" behind them ...

My dearest florita, u will be missed!

We were like a big family once ...

last but not least

My Da jie da! i still missed working with u!! *wInk*

2008-04-01T20:53:00.002+08:00

i'm not in my great mood recently ...

anyhow, guys my long leave had been approved all the way till June

i feel bad for throwing all the bad things to my friends which i'll be abandoning them these few months ... especially ah yee n ade ...

sIgh* girls, remember dun do things that you are unwilling to do alrite! everything must voice out for ur rights. i understand both of u always hide things within urself ... no worries ... thou i may be revising for my exams, but my friendly ear will always be there for listening ... jia you! I'll always be there for both of u de! =D

i'm really not in a mood for everything ... dun even bother to ask ... i'll be in another MIA mode till i'm feeling better...

well at the mean time, contact me thru phone ba! ciaoz

Regards.

2008-03-22T23:35:00.002+08:00

had a bad day yesterday...

down with food poison i think ...
not feeling very well the whole day ...
all the way till evening time i found myself shivering at work
SIGH*

A BIG BIG BIG SIGH*

Same old problem facing up once and again ...
I or simply us knew wads the reasons to all these things
but somehow not everything is within our control
if you simply think that all these things can be change over afew words within afew days.
we wun be facing so much things now.

i hate to see those people who are facing NOTHING talking abt politics that we are facing now when they themselves dun even had a slight touch to those politics that we had once faced over these YEARS.
Have u ever gone through that peak period with us?
Have u ever gone thought the high and low period with us?
Have u ever saw the bonding that we once used to have?
NO NO NO!

Ask me why i remain silent,
cause I believed that he had changed, better at least for now,
but to a certain extend.
I wun say that its perfect, cos no one is perfect in this world.
it takes time for one to grow up and be matured
and now, boy , simply i think its ur turn to grow up

every work place had different politics
different ppl handle politics differently
anyway if u did not realise,
in this world there is nothing call TRUE AND FAIR

Listen here, If you think only that particular person that grants you ur wadeverwhosoever leave or whatever u had request and claim that he or she is in a unbias state and is in a True and Fair position, this is a total BULLSHIT!

NOW EVERYONE HERE DEFINE THE MEANING OF BIAS! damn it !

2008-03-20T15:07:00.002+08:00

deleted my previous post ...
kinda not appropriate to write such things within my blog ...
sigh*
another restrain once again ...

things changes as days passes
at the point i've made a decision thats it.
it wun be a short period neither it would be a long one.

survey offer was given
i'm quite reluctant to accept it
though i'm still VERY keen in working with her.
survey just isn't my cup of tea ...
HELP!

i'm nt sure wad i want now or wad i'm use to be
everything seems haywire ...
i'm so tired ...
tired ...
hao lei ...

2008-03-04T18:20:00.002+08:00

Craving for salmon now ...
anyone wanna go Park Way to have a slice?!?
ewwwww
meeting sis for sakae later ... ciaoz

*RIP MODE*

2008-02-28T16:51:00.002+08:00

This blog shall be in a R.I.P mode till 13march'08
mugging in progress D.N.D <-- bullshit !

*Special note to all colleagues !
-i'll be back this coming saturday 1March08 just for a day

DEAD! Financial management was a disaster ...
i'm glad that it was just a prelim ... whew
nxt i'm going to flunk my management accounting ...
cya guys at mid march then !

ciaoz

2008-01-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

Hello Everybody!!!

sound exicted isn't it!!!
but no ...

eww the thing i detest the most is drawing near
-prelim at the end of feb
-i've promise to work more to help out
-i've got NO time AT ALL!
seriously no time
i'm not gonna get myself in depression at this crucial moment.

James Kawn said something today during lecture i find it kinda meaningful
Why does ppl only recognise FIRST of everything and not Second?
Reason:Because second is the Number 1 of all losers.

i knew clearly i wun be doing well in prelims.
but i'm going to strive hard for the Actual ...
SEE I'M PROCASTING AGAIN LAR!!!
but i'll try de.

I think i'll leave this blog in peace for a period of time ...
had to revise my work and to solve some major problems at workplace.
JIA YOU! TO EVERYONE TAKING UOL! =P

-Someone
You may be a good friend but u aren't a good colleague afterall. You may be leaving but why must u start psyco-ing other people's thought? you said that you had become like that all because of him, i agreed but onli to a SMALL extend! He might be sucks in his job BUT make sure you urself did ur own part WELL ENOUGH before you start to commenting on others.Late for work disturbing ur patnership scheduling for break etc. And also I dun understand why must you say all those rubbish to aunty. But luckily, aunty is wise enough to filter ur nonscence. I thought we are all grown up adults and able to think of consequences.I dun understand wad makes u change from bad to worse and from worse to WORST. i dun understand wad makes u think that whatever ur whosoeverwhateva attitude will make Mr in-charge into deep shit. DUn you think that all ur actions aren't sabo-ing HIM at all! u are actually causing a din out of no where ... People that are suffering is US NOT HIM! US US AND US! Mr dear friend, no one is irreplaceable in this world, stop thinking highly of oneself. Why not just do ur job well and leave with memories?
i knew clearly that u wun be seeing this entry unless someone told u after reading... i do treasure each and every of u that came into my life. Ask me why i wun even thought of leaving at this moment, cos i wun left them alone to die. through the years of hardwork, a wise person should understand all these changes does nt cause by the management themselves, did you see any of their faces appearing in the hierachy chart of the company?( no matter if its located at security counter or HR.
PS: But no doubt, my decision for leaving will STILL be within the year 2008.

2008-01-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

Bought a new bag from JB!!!
added to my CNY list!
WOW!

bought a small little dairy together with chew meng and xiao mei
wad for?!?
reduce the unhappiness i've blog online and have more HAPPY entries !!!
TOO DULL LAR!

Will be busy for the up coming feb. Not free VERY NOT FREE!
i hate it when my colleagues are all as selfish ...
just disappointing ...
blame no one but myself ...
Stupid ... feeling more miserable...
I URGE SEPT TO COME ASAP!
I WANNA ENJOY MY STUDENT LIFE ASAP!

*Sis will be back tml !!! yeah!!!
room wun be empty anymore!
DA JIE ! WELCOME BACK! mUAcKS!~

2008-01-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

Had so much fun yesterday.
bought my new year clothes- 3tops and 2 bottom !!
CONTENTED for the time being ...
with the shoes that my sis bought ~
My new year dress for this coming CNY is SETTLED! Yippee!

UPCOMING EVENT OF THE YEAR!
* After our christmas gathering, we wanted something different and exicting!!
* Look foward to the nxt - limited seats available! soon it'll be reveal!

Tearful heart
* I din expect my heart to turn so sourish after looking at the sms content...
* It had been for years ... its really time to let go of the "strawberry sundae"
* I'd been missing u always yet i din know the exact location u were in
* After that particular day, i've decided to stepped out of the circle leaving whatever memories behind and continue my route of life ...
* All the best to you ... you'll still be missed.

* Allow me to gather more courage,
i wanna enjoy my student life ...
soon i'm going to fulfil..
just wait and see
U USELESS DUMBASS

Newyear approaching !!!
- SO many angbaos awaiting for me !!!
muahhahaha =D

2008-01-17T14:02:00.000+08:00

u know wad?

sometime it's good to know nothing rather than everything ...

i'm still not in da mood ...

off to work ...

byez

2008-01-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

knowing that i'm just not ready for work, took a day off from work ...
shall have a short holiday till thurs.

yesterday wasn't a day to work.
i'm not in e mood
and i wun be have good mood recently.
everything seems to be shortening the days
GOODBYE.

*apologies to jiawen, i'm not in a good mood yesterday too. PEACE! yeah!

*its hard maintaining a certain level for friendship. i'm trying hard to get motivated but ... ...

2008-01-13T00:57:00.000+08:00

well ... what should i blog...

Sch had been struggling i think...
a pat on the back for both pei and me- manage to grab e notes from JAMES ONG!
he was a good lecturer after all...
anyway he reminds me of Ms wong ting yin. (doing of hw wise)

well as for work ...
disappointment had been increasing...
i'm losing my motivation day after day
i know, there is always a different between old and new in-charge
but the concern to staff level had been dropped drastically!
the words that u've reply to the matter really disappoint me VERY MUCH!
i think u are nothing better than ALAN
how can a person with such high status said these kinda things to the staff?
"i'll remove the buttons and let customer to scold u!"
WTF?
And to recal wad u've said that morning, u are really nothing better.
The dept belongs to noone except for ourselves, and wad u cared abt was who to have lunch with ...
i should'nt have act as if i'm sleeping
i should'nt have listened to both of ur conversation
i should'nt have act like nothing had happened.
i should have stand out for all our rights
i should have said it all out ...
i'm afraid that others will be as furious as me
i'm afraid that they would just throw a piece of paper in the nxt second
i'm afraid, i dunno wad i'm afraid of
i hate myself from thinking too much
i hate myself from caring others too much sometimes dislead own's life
i hate myself from committing too much in a particular thing with are not worth it
i used to think there'll be another 365days... but as days passes ... days had been getting shorter and shorter.

it'll be hard for me to survive after june ...
and now, we shall see ...

Tml will be another day of work ...
and i dislike that feeling ...

2008-01-06T15:53:00.000+08:00

6 days of 2008
and finally i'm here to lie my 2008 resolutions

-FAMILY
As for family wise, i beleive i've been always a nice good daughter
one thing is that ... i should spent more time at home ...
we used to have dinner together but ....
i need more time lar !

-WORK
I need to get some ans before making a decision
someone there's a path and a decision awaiting for me to implement.
i use to think that one of my resolution would be another 365 days for e company.
but everything went shaky when ppl left and i did not manage to achieve what i should.

-OTHERS
A better control over my temper ( this had always been the top of my list )
Stop going for the impossible ( Trying very hard to put certain things down)
Better treatment to ppl ard me ( in chi we say, ji yi dian kou de)
Settle down and be more serious in my work
A better time management control(time is running out)

thats for all ba ...
busy busy busy~

2007-12-31T01:01:00.000+08:00

Last day of 2007! time for some conclusion

Had a fruitful year compared to 2006!
reading back the post.
2006 are full of sadness

My wonderful 2007!
1) Graduate from Temasek poly sucessfully (finally gotta paper)
2) celebrated my 21st birthday ( congrats to all 1986's babies )
3) Got into SIM ( to further my studies )
4) Had a wonderful annual private function with c4 colleagues ( our one and only)

a wonderful function wraps up my perfect 2007!

A big welcome to my 2008 !

A renew of my wishlist ( to be updated )

* Received my exam timetable ...
wad a busy 2008 i have ... 5 months to study.

Happily ever after~ HEllo 2008! Here i COME!
update soon! =D

2007-12-18T15:58:00.000+08:00

counting down the days to zero,

a day where everything is finalised and i've finally accepting the fact
a day where someone was released from stress and start leading a better life
a day where everyone wishes her all the best in her future endervous

Lotsa thank you to say:
- Thank you for the wonderful memories u left behind thou times had already past far away.
- Thank you for standing up for us when all of us are still young and ignorant.
*we'll thank you in heart
- Thank you for FIGHTING for our rights and believing in one's right
*we appreciate it
- Thank you for presence which let us feel better
* we thank you once again

You had been a great role model to many of us i believed.
unlimited "if only" could be said
but actions is so much better than words ba.

remember the days where we'd gain confidence from ur speech
making us feel like temp staff were like part timers
part timers were like a family of the cooperate.
now it seems like part timers seems to be like temp staff
and temp staff are no longer classified as part of the family anymore.

thank you once again.
you'll be missed always
keep in contact n take care ...

2007-12-18T15:39:00.000+08:00

3 good news this december!
welcoming 3 cute little babies coming into this world.
sabbie's girl-jamie
my uncle girl - i forget name liaoz.
last but not least - Aunty Sandy's grandchild daughter!!!
gong xi gong xi !
its definitely a good sign of 2008 ! so happie lar!

coming up nxt with another 3 more good news
- Happy birthday to Mr Gary Foo
- Happy birthday to Mr Wille ( if u happen to read this post, i've not forgotten OKAY!)
and also, last but not least
- Happy birthday to Ms louise Niew

such a fantastic post with lotsa wishes and hope
thou i still have lotsa things to blog out,
but dun think its wise to spoil such happy post!
Shall blog another day and soon ...
JIA YOU EVERYBODY~
we are doing just fine ...
hopefully~
=D

2007-12-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

things start piling all over me ...
congrats to all my uni frens, finally exams are all over!!

i'm feeling stress on studies lately ...
somehow, nothing goes into my mini brain...

as much as i wished i could find ways to get some free time before the crucial time is up. but as much as i wish, on the other hand, things start to add on. but nvm, i'll just find a way out somehow !

wad a count down - 5.5days
hopefully it'll be a relieve for u
i'm feeling happy - should i? =>unsure
whatever... time is running out ! BOO!

festive seasons are approaching, i knew i'd to commit to my work ...
i've 50 over questions to complete within 2 weeks
i'm working 5 to 6 days a week for the nxt 2 weeks
and i believe i'll be dead before 2008 arrived ...

2007-12-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY~ i'm back from malaysia

Its a nice trip though journey is very very very LONG~~~~

too much to write but i'm too lazy to blog!

Christmas is approaching ~
i wanna 24th dec to arrive fast yet on the other hand i hope the time would stop~

let the nature takes its course ba ...
i dun like to force things and i wun ...
at most the emo will be continue hidding within my soul~

time for some gathering!!!

but i'm so BUSY!!!
HELP!

2007-12-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

The more i wanted time to be slower, the faster it would be ...

somthing is really weird regarding my emo...
and i mean real weird ...
- i'm still as calm no doubt time is approaching like a split of light.
- i give up on those people that would wanna find trouble on me, i'll just let them do what they want... " the whatever spirit " <-- and this is what i hate the most.

I've nvr been so calm before ...
when i'm alone sitting down at the busstop,
looking ahead, dazing .... till someone approached and called me
mind was blank ... unsure of what i'm thinking about ...
weird isn't it
*shen bu shou she"

weird weird weird

counting down the days
-to ipor(Mr LG correct spelling mah?)
-24 dec
-25 dec
-29 dec
and not forgetting a NEW year

* i'm still waiting for someone to tell me that all these isn't true ...
MIRACLES WHERE ARE U!!!!!!!!!!!! BOO!
it wun happen
seriously it wun ...

3 more days and i'm going to relax myself!!!
MR FOO!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

yooo hooo i'm back!!!

everything went on smoothly~
work was fine as usual~
weekend past by so quickly!
and ... the most important thing is that MR LG IS BACK!!!!!!
haha~ nice working with familiar ppl.

Christmas is coming real fast ...
though i dun wish it to arrive so fast, but i'm very looking forward to it!!
yes i mean VERY!!
I dun know why but christmas is the only festive that will onli interest me so much!

GReat!
my mood is slowly building up!
somehow no point building up those grieve that is already can't be changed
let the nature takes its course ba!
tian xia mei you bu shan de yan xi
accept the fact and continue my path...
A time frame which was given by myself
1) till end of this year
or
2) it'll be another 2 years
but somehow the feelings aren't that strong ...
not as similar as wad i faced few years back.

i'm going to IPOL ( dunno spell correct anot )
from 7 to 11 dec
whoohoo!!! i'm excited !!! i'm getting out of singapore...
spend some time outside singapore and to relax ...
releasing the stress and moody-ness i have and return to a NEW me!!!
hopefully
new wishlist coming up for a new year
looking forward to 2008!

When things are just so fixed ... its time to let go... saying is so much easier than actions ... i agreed but i'll try ... JIA YOU BA!

2007-11-22T02:10:00.001+08:00

time for a little update

today as usual went for wed morning 830am class.
was stunned to hear that james is giving us a class test
was so stunned and unprepared! all these while i tot it was next week lar ...
i'll be surprise if i could even get a 5 marks...
out of 2 qns i did just 1 and out of that 1 qns i did half.
i'm so dead lar! see lar CYNTHIA YEOH!! ORBI GOOD
dun wanna revise lar ! i'm just so dead ...
and all these stuff added on to my emo! damn.

was on my way to sch..
there was this particular aunty sitting beside me
i dun know wad or which part of her ass went wrong,
she just can't seat still!
she loves to put her arms inbetween hers and my hands and start trigger ard her fingers
not long after to my HORROR!!!! SHE DIG HER BLOODY NOSE LAR!
ITS DAMN GROSS DE LAR!
u guys understand? u know those typical old aunty and old man dig their nose and then roll into one using their fingers and throw it on the ground ...
was so disgusted by her actions!
and guess wad! she put her disgusting hand rite between our hands AGAIN!
for godness sake its feeling so so horrible lar ! chao er xin de lar!
*puke* i almost turn and scream at her ...
but the kind hearted be only turn and stared at her...
very er xin lar ... waw kao!

My dear fairy god mother loves to give me some challenges at the end of the year...
a period where everything seems so crucial... before i could settle my feelings for one thing, she brought up another thing.

I'm still not feeling very good but somehow my emo seems to be improving ...
i repeat again:
-the saddess thing isn't those who are leaving... in fact they are those who stay and changes.

few years ago, i came and joined this warmth family ...
the only thing diff us suntec to Plaza Sing, isn't the people here.
infact its the "ren qing wei" the warmness that we had once built.
as days pass by, it became colder and colder.
The environment changes from a warmth city and slowly shifted to north pole.
somehow, the higher the postion one gets, the more self centered they would be.
however i wun say its all ...but confirm its most of them.
i wanted to protect my friends in a right manner and not by power.
somehow i was bind by ppl.

QN.
-Have you ever think of how he felt?
-Have you ever think of how we see from outside?

To u, it might be a small case,
but it seems like non of u had taken into considerations of his feelings
DO u understand that all these isn't regarding the duration of suspend.
Its regarding one's thought and feelings.
-HAve u ever consider his " zhi zun xing"

its really sad to say this, but there is really no one protecting us
i feel so insecured to where i'm standing...
anytime anywhere , when an arrogant customer came along, who knows i might just be nxt?
As wad terrence had mention earlier on, we are just like a pawn on the chessboard.
sometimes sacrificial is needed.
of cos it isn't on those who are in black , its always those who are in stripes.
becos there wun be any diff if anyone of us leaves as it is easily replace isn't it?

i'm just dissappointing, noone seems to care for us,
they are all busy abt their unfinished task ...
even a change in keyboard took us so long.
yes all of ur work are always impotant and our feedbacks are always bullshit.
i'm giving up hope again soon...

i dun wannna bring my emo to work.
and hopefully i won't
I HATE TO BE EMO!!! DAMN IT!

2007-11-13T02:10:00.000+08:00

End of year is coming real soon
The best moment and e most enjoyable PH is approaching ...
not deepavali not hari raya haji not chinese new year
ITS CHRISTMAS TIME!!!

Every year i hope that christmas would approach faster...
celebrations will be made no matter where and what
Every single year i pray that everything goes well the year after
Every year i could'nt wait for the next christmas to arrive!

This year was an exception
i hope that from today onwards, every seconds seems to be like min,
every min seems to be like hr
and every hour seems to be like days etc

Dear fairy god mother,
It seems like this year round, i haven been a good girl. its festive seasons yet receiving lotsa bad news. Is there any other punishment beside for accepting the cruel fact?

From,
Quanxin

My feelings were kinda confused now.
- should i feel upset (exactly like 2years b4)
- or should i feel happy ( cos finally i'm free cos no hope = dun have to wait)
somehow my mood is kinda calm which i find it weird ...

i wun avoid that "blar blar blar"
but somehow it is finalise and cannot be change when i get to know the news.
as days past by, my mood is getting from bad to worse
i hate to make decisions for my life.
one decision might cause lotsa regrets
i'm just unhappy.
one question: Does a smiling person reflects that he is happy?!?

I'M JUST NOT HAPPY BUT ! THERE IS NOTHING I COULD DO!

ANYONE UNDERSTAND THE FEELING? I JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING!

I'M STUCK!!!

DAMMIT!

2007-11-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

wrote alot yet delete off in the end.

i'm still not quite use to speaking out my feelings.

Yawnz

someone just save me ...
i'm not who i am recently !!

HELP!

2007-10-29T17:46:00.000+08:00

everyone seems to be unhappy abt certain issues and certain stuffs
with diff perception, people tend to look at certain things differently.
Its not easy to understand one another
hence human being tends to have conflict regardless big or small.

We classified ourselves under a catogory name: human beings
human beings too have emotions
Mr gary once asked me: " Why must a person show the expression of wad one is having?"
I smiled and walked off.
it was a tough question to answer and i dun know how to answer.

Working in carrefour isn't as easy ...
The sadness dosen't comes with those who come and go
it came from those who stay and changes.
some issues from weekend.
final conclusion was, too high education will led to senile.
Luckily i had good colleagues to be with me that night - thanks to Mr Bear and Mr LG

i did find some great friends from there
just that somehow recently i felt that we are just a bunch of pathetic human beings
gathering in this working place with no one to turn to.
A place that dun have a high pay,
A place that we could'nt find a reason to stay
A place where working could be so tiring at times
BUT something i could conclude was, it was a place with nice happy sweet memories

We could be childish at times
but pls make sure that one wun make another party into a hard position
i dun wanna break off myself and start scolding people
yet, i broke off the chain yesterday.
i'm a nice person but nvr take me for granted if not i'll repay twice!

Ask me. have I regret holding ppl back from quitting
the answer would definitely be a yes.
but every action i do, there will always be a reason behind.
2 yrs is a better decision then anything else.

Anyway a new friend found!
Ah boy - Miss Ivy Ho from service quality counter!
Thanks for being part and parcel of my life!
Ur wished had been fulfil yesterday!
Onwards going ba!

2007-10-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

wad a day!
Tue had a celebration with our xin da jie! which resulting me pushing backwards my auditing class to today! End up, my lecturer had a migrain resulting a short lecture AND YES AND also ADmin staff cam into the room and spot check on the attendance! and ended up we were force to leave the room!!! aaRrgGhhhhh!! KILL ME PLS!!! now pei and me were stuck in the computer lab surfing net ... sIgh*

did not have much sleep yesterday night...sleep like 2hrs or so? wonder wad am i thinking recently ...
recently keep dreaming of "singapore casket" related stuff in my dreams ...
touch wood* touch wood* hopefully everything goes well...

shoo* shoo* depression go away ~
will be kinda busy recently coping with both studies and work le ...
i have an assignment due in 2 weeks and a test nxt week follow by another test nxt month which is onli like 2 weeks away....
Glancing at the schedule i have in work *shakehead* i should have cut off even more ... i need more time to revise my work ...

i'm still kinda ensure whether i made a right decision continue studying or not ... but since everything is FINALIZE, i'll just have to continue striving hard ba! jia you oh! hopefully i have mind to do it ...

aarrgghhh!!! FAN SI LE!!!
why like that ?
WHY ? aiyoh .... this should'nt be the way thiaz
cannot like that de thiaz ....
WAKE UP PLS!!!!!!!!!!

somehow i still thinks that avoidance is a better way then to solve the problem ... at least for now ... sIGh*

2007-10-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

SIGH*
SIGH*SIGH*
SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*
SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*
SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*
SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*SIGH*

sometimes i just hope to live peacefully.

Sch
had been falling asleep recently
I've no time for revision
assignment and test are all coming in
and u know wad? I'm dead dead VERY DEAD!
why should i be striving so hard?

HELP!!! I'm having very serious short term memory,
or maybe lagging memory ...
u can tell me this and that and the next second i can't recall wad is it
yet after afew HOURS YES I MEAN HOURS and it suddenly pop out from my brain ...
but somehow it was too late liaoz ...

i dun feel good recently ...
yet it is good to feel so free when there is no burden left behind
especially no one was left to pull me back. Thumbs up!

i wanna fly ~~
xiao mei organizing trip to thailand!
yesh!!! hopefully thailand side can be more and more peaceful as days pass.

2007-10-10T22:17:00.000+08:00

Actually life isn't as boring as i thought it would be.

Some stuff to update:
- Pei manage to get van from her bro and there we go~~ go~~ go~~ way to school!!
It was my first time driving on expressway! kinda sua ku right. anyway it was a thrilling ride ... cock up a little cos it had been a period of time since i drive ... its kinda true that you dun feel the speed when u are at the driver seat u see.

hmm... having a car is great ... but currently i dun need it and can't afford it. i dun understand why some ppl would wanna have a urge to have one when they can't even afford one... hmm.. as for me, my monthly salary must be beyong 3k b4 i would even consider buying a car. i dun wanna get myself in unnessacerily burden into all kind of installments or debts. Life is short ... getting urself into debt shit wun led u any further.

- Went PS to celebrate Mr bear's birthday at fish market. Trying my luck to see if missy captain was still ard, out of 10 times i only manage to came once on the day that she is working. Had a chat ... not bad after all ... she's cute lar (commented by sky) of course i agreed ! cos she is my lovely captain afterall! =D

- Everything will be decided end of this year. Pros n Cons
i should'nt be that dili deli after getting my diploma cert. Its wasted dun u think so. maybe i should go for some more relevent job to my studies ba ... gaining some experience is important.

School had been fine! work had been tiring. in-charge hasn't been good ... yes i mean IN-CHARGE and not any other words. i'm talking abt sensitive issues once again ... isn't something wise isn't it. i'll just choose to shut up!

tml working full ... all the way till nxt week ... damn tired ... lacked of stuff lack of capable in charge, who are the one that is suffering? the surbodinate lor!! i think this month will be the last month i would even promise to work full ba. i just dun understand why work had been so tiring compare to the past. during the past, i could work 13hrs straight in a row with 1 break ... now it's feeling kinda sucky ... i dun think its due to age ... somehow everything just went so so different...
look at our schedule ... one word : sucks ! everything!

2007-09-26T13:53:00.000+08:00

Had been acting weird recently ...
smiling and laughing at myself
thinking of all the sweet memories i had
haha
but seems all over.

Life had been kinda bored
right after my poly life!
working and studying seems to occupying all my entire life...
i wanna go sing, drink, SHOPPING etc etc
i miss all my KAKIS!!
YES VIV!! I MISSED U SO MUCH!!! (dun look left n right)

Not in a heavenly mood ever since my last entry...
just feeling so down ...
just dun feel like talking to anyone else
especially when i'm working ...
biz had been kinda down,
cashiers seems boring ...
pros n cons after promotion
things CANNOT do is so much more than CAN DO
wanna make a win win situation but i can't

Had been vexed for certain stuff.
No mood for everything ...
no mood no mood no mood !!
SIMPLY NO MOOD!

i wanna go for a drink
but not with this kinda mood
i might drink like no one biz
one cup after another ...

having sleepless night recently ...
can anyone tell me how can i sleep early ? for like 12am ?
when the nxt day i had morning class?
i just can't get into dreams till like 3 - 4am
damn~
and now i feel myself like a walking zombie wondering ard in school ...

I dunno how long will i'll be staying there and work ...
the time range can't be predicted ...
not like last time during my poly life,
its confirm i'll be staying till end of poly
life are so diff now ...
so does the people ...
sometimes i get so tired ...
tired of smiling laughing etc...
got this feeling like my life seems to be shortening
i simply had lost all the laughter i used to have...

COMPLICATED AR!!!
NO MOOD LAR !!!
I NEED ENTERTAINMENT!!!
BOO!

2007-09-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

time to clean up some dust liao ...

life had been kinda challenging ever since school reopen ...
so far so good ...
but it'll definitely be a large challenge to me
luckily i still had peiyu with me for all the moldules
Thanks girl ...

On the other hand, work isn't as smooth as everyone seems to think it was.
everyone's heart got shaken ... yes and i mean everyone.
i tried to hold it... but i myself got shaken in the end...
maybe i've change ba...
Recently quite a couple of issues happened and i realise somethings.
I tried to do my best for my job at the same time protecting each and everyone of u around me.
i dun want ppl coming around me appreciating but at least you would be able to do something.
And just by these itself, it'd been a very tough one...
Something that can be so tiring ... mentally especially.
Ending up,knowing that i should have give up either one of them
some of u, might be u, the one that is reading, thinking "i did not ask u to help wad! why be a KPO?"

Cus everyone need 2 hands to clapped.
somehow i get it to a point that actually there is no point helping and protect those that dun even appreciate what you are doing.
it seeems so redundant...
it seems like helping someone ended up got slapped by them.
i dun wanna use the word fuckup but it is really FUCK UP!
i dunno who i'm feeling so REGRET helping each of them for saying nice good things
ended up SLAPPING MYSELF!
WHY should i be adding on such unneccesariy BURDENS ON MY SHOULLDERS?
WHY should i spending my time on such UNNECCESARILY STUFF?

And u know wad,

now i need more brain cells to operate for my studies,
and stop being a KPO!
i'll continue to do my job well.
in a sense of job wise ONLY not other crapy stuff!
Concentrating on my studies and open my mouth when i'm supposed to.
And i Pray hard hoping that all these will turns out well, very well

STRESS STRESS STRESS <-- currently not feeling anything ...
JIA YOU BA FOR ALL THOSE BACK TO SCHOOL! =D

2007-08-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

hmm school is going to reopen real soon. 2 more weeks
14 more days.

A special visit yesterday.
but not intentionally
the feeling isn't there anymore
weird. very weird...
not even alittle.
not even a pinch
i always hope that the feeling would go off quickly
but not as fast as i thought it would be
i dun wish it to go off, yet neither do i wish it to be back...
In this case, it'll be alot more easier to leave.

Had been feeling kinda down recently ...
everyone seems to be feeling the same as i do ...
captain seems to have lotsa leave
i dun get to see her even if i go down for a reason
i dun get a chance to speak to her personally no matter if its online or face to face
SIGH*

nothing is improving
capable ppl leaving one after another
she, she, him, she blar blar blar and more to go
why ppl dun treasure those good one and only focus of the bad ones?
i dun get it !
rubbish always belongs to the bin
cleaner will always be the one doing the cleaning

hopefully when school reopen, everything will be a good beginning.
i hope and i pray i'll led my life peacefully for 2 years.

nothing to talk abt actually ...
same old routine daily seems so boring ...
not much fun activities!
BUT!!!! recently addicted to SINGING!!!
WOOHOO!!! sO sO GreAt lor!
i'm very free recently !!!

DATE ME OUT!

2007-08-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

i knew it! u guys are just waiting for me to post something.

Firstly, thanks everyone for so shanglian attending my birthday chalet!
and not forgetting all the lovely presents as well!!! I love it to the core!
shall post up some facinating pix asap!

Annual dinner and dance 2007! nvr regret going on the first day! had so much fun! unlike the second day! so BORING!!! waHahAH shall upload pic soon ...

Decided to remove my wishlist soon
cause almost everything is fulfil except for something ...
something that i know, its rather impossible
i'm kinda unlucky ba ...
i lose to nothing else except for fate.

here goes:

1) A period where i was force to convert back to part timer with philip cus times are really bad and suntec refuse to allow ad hoc staff back and work due to certain reasons. at the point where i convert back, within weeks, PS requested to borrow some AD HOC STAFF over to stregthern their man power due to IMF. And Ad Hoc staff was send over leaving me alone working in suntec with a pathetic status of being a PT cashier. no one can understand how furious,hopeless and disappointing it could be! Everyone knows that i'm enthu in working with jie once again but the chance just slipped off through my hands ... its like wTf?

2) After enduring for a few months, due to studies, i've decided to quit again ...
so continue having a life being a temp staff ... till this day where i realise that both stores are having exchange programmes where cashiers and supervisors will be swap, another words it means that all staff (including part time n full time except temp staff) will have a chance to go over! its like another WtF? i missed that precious chance one again ...

somehow its fate ba... everyone of them had a chance to work over except for me ... somehow its fate that we'll nvr be able to work together again ba ... and so, no point putting something in the wishlist where i knew that it can nvr be fulfilled. Fine ... i'm feeling alrite =D no worries.

lovely 21 had just passed,
some how i'm already 2 leg into the catogory of young adult.

Patience is something that i'm always lacked of. No matter how many times i tried, no improvement and i'll just get so so fed up! Life is short, somehow i hate wasting my time on ppl that are so hopeless!And i feel so hopeless facing ppl that are so so hopeless!

i dun think that i'm a person with ego, but i'm sure that i'm someone who dun look far out into my future. i hope to live with a peaceful life, everything dun have to be perfect ... but just peaceful.

i'm willing to listen to everyone's story, yet suddenly i feel so so outcast that i dun feel like telling anyone else my problems... everything seems to be just so redundant. All i need was a listening ear, and not someone that will correct me regarding my thoughts and words. Everyone out there are busy with their lives so do i. i feel that my life is in a mess ... and seriously i think its time to reformat it! fast and quick!

School is starting real soon.. and it isn't my cup of tea. Will i be a successful Accounts Excutive or would i become an Auditor? no one knows! i need to strive real hard for it ... first thing to sacrifice will be my work! i'm currently having a job with both mentally and pysically stress. A job where i need to have social contact with ppl. A post where i need to entertain with all types of ppl of different levels. My cashiers, My partners, My management etc etc ...
A department without a boss. Everything seems heywire. Somehow i wish my "pengyou" is still here juggling with everything... at least some things wun have been better handled.

English is an international language. Service line is what the whole world seems to be focusing abt. A question for all : how can a person who dun understand English work in a service line? I DUN UNDERSTAND! Somehow, ppl dun spare a thought for surbodinates.Having sufficient staff is one thing, having e number of good staff is another thing. We are the one teaching and handling. Ending up "U" seems to be the good, best man and we , ppl who are outside are like devils? Now tell me, who are those who suffered? i believe its all of us. Sup and rollers are working like no one biz, working so hard yet getting such little benefits. i dun see any appreciation for doing a good job. Not for myself but for others. Nothing was seen when right things were done. i dun usually grumble abt work. i tried to stay at a positive view so that i could have a better working environment. i'm not unsatisfied with my work ... its like ... somehow, they seems to forget how the sales floor is like ... treating everything as li shuo dang ran. Yes! everyone had to be given a chance to learn ... BUT! somehow ... Everyone's patience seems to running out ... PS: not just me alone ... and i really mean EVERYONE!

i'm tired ... time to sleep .. nites all ...
and as always... dun ever discuss with me over this post ... thanks ...

2007-07-25T16:40:00.000+08:00

sick sick sick! i'm feeling so sick now!
with all the OTs and leisures i had at night
with all the morning duties!
and now i'm down with a veryvery common cold ...
and u know wad ? its just afew days before my celebration ... sigh*

i wanna learn how to speak malay, cantonese as well as jap!
being bilingual is great!
so, who wanna be my sensei?
FOC de hor!
communication is a very important tool for everyone of us.

Had a drink with colleagues yesterdays night facing the sea breeze.
it had been long ever since i went to the beach.
went to eastern lagoon for a drink as well as a chat.
nice place nice scenery with nice people and we had nice chat.

some news to share abt:
- congrats to sabrina ~ wedding wedding and not forgetting ur baby girl~
- captain is going for the chalet! something that worth to celebrate
- i've received my 3rd birthday presents!!! (but i forget where did i place it le)

thats abt all i think

stepping into another phrase of my life:

- Stop fooling ard and start planning for the future
- Really have to start concentrating on my studies. it'll be my last round
and last but not least,
- Start planning for RETIREMENT ( overheard wad viv said the other night)

ok ok finally my wishlist is up:

A no wishlist , wishlist.
i think i had everything i wanted
and friends that had come before hand had already got wads left
and now, i'm left with no wishlist

- but i do want something practical
dun have to be something expensive, a peice of heart will do,
i do hope to get something memorable
something surprise
something fasinating
something that will make me excited
and not forgetting, something that will last FOREVER!

ciaoz tiem to get some sleep. i'm feeling sleepy ...

2007-07-17T01:22:00.000+08:00

well, they had been complaining abt me recently
-sorry for all the sms-es not replied ,
-paisei for all the MIA

Realised that time passed by so so fast recently.
having lotsa stuff unsettled.
not knowing where did all my time went.

Working had been boring...
the store seems to be getting smaller.
good colleagues seems to become lesser too.
good friends does not equals to good colleagues
i agreed totally but ...
vexed vexed very vexed .
knowing something that i should'nt have known.
seems that someone had placed a stone in my heart.
i'm kinda worried yet i can't do anything ... neither do i can speak out any words regarding this.
a series of bad things happened recently
hopefully it'll pass by quickly.

A Msg to uncle lili,
BAD UNCLE!!!
BAD BAD UNCLE!!!
BAD BAD BAD UNCLE!!!!
NI BIAN LE LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUR!
=(

weird ...
the feeling is so weird
the presence can cheer me up the whole day.
i'm delighted. =D
till now, recalling back, i'm still able to smile in my dreams
how nice will it be, with you in the hierachy
but somehow, it had been accepted that, it will nvr happened, at least for these 2 years.

Annual dinner and dance commence tml!!

WOoHoO!!
i'm going to enjoy so much without my kakis with me!
someone is definitely going up the stage!
YES DEFINITELY~!

2007-07-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

sorry had been kinda busy recently ...

had been boring at work ...
somehow things aren't going like the past ...
get to know some new batch of kakis to hang out with
somehow its fun and somehow its bored.
if one choose to be a dumb than i'll choose to be silent.
working had not been and easy job ever since the start of my poly days
ask me why i continue working there,
my answer will be definitely be the same
anyway lao ban owes me one testimonial!
where is he?!?
BOO!

in less than a month's time
dreadful school is starting soon...
i haven even start planning my time table
tml will state everything
whether its a 2 days week or a 3 days or maybe a 4 days week..
wish me luck guys!

alrite ... another boring day at work today ...
missy florita is in the morning shift and Mr sky is OFF
BORING BORING BORING!!!!
lucky i still have the rest !
chioz
shall blog again tml !!!
MY OFF DAY!!! YEAH!!!

2007-06-25T01:08:00.000+08:00

The feeling is getting back again ...
and i seriously dun like it ...
i think its a must for me to do something in order to get rid of this freaking feeling
i seriously hate it SO MUCH!

Work
Beginning of a new week ...
A week that i dun feel like entering in.
A promotion that dosen't look like one
A position that i do not wish to stand in.
A place where i have no one to turn to.
i'm still back to such feelings
i feel used by people...

I hope to do my job well
regardless who the superiors were
but somehow i find myself li bu cong xin
i dunno where to start from and dunno where to end
i simply hate the feeling!!!
CAn anyone just get rid for me ?

2007-06-20T09:17:00.000+08:00

time flies ...
its wednesday liao ...
i just wanna spent this week wisely
as i know i'll be kinda busy from nxt week onwards
and u know wad?
i dun like the feeling ...

start to realise that those factors are not important anymore
the more u urge for it, the further u would get.

ciaoz ~~

2007-06-13T17:30:00.000+08:00

finally bought a new comp. online online and online...
sadden .. all my pics are gone and so my naruto and bleach... pek chek ar!
*warning a long long entry after this:

Sch
Just completing my bridging course ...
maths was fine... but econs kinda sucks...
Hopefully everyone of us could make it to the next step
if not we wasted not only money(700+) but also TIME!

Work
Lately lots of things happening ard there
- Boss: Mr Eugene had left us out of the sudden
we are now in a head-less department
No matter what we had gone thru these years,
i believe he had put in his very best though be might be protective at times
*not to the department but himself
not forgetting, thanks so much for giving me so many chances,
trying out different things other then doing cashier alone.
without ur consent, management can't do anything too.
These 3 years had passed by quickly under your in-charge...
Just hope that the next in-charge will be the same or a better one

- Yvonne will be leaving us this month too ...
well ... nothing much to say ..
but i'll miss her greatly under her supervise...

- Rui an
Welcome back to the team as part time!
looking so forward in working with u again
not forgeting ah bei whom should be joining back at ard august/september period.
finally, our group starts to build up again ...

- Last and not least - ME
will be converting back as a part time end of this month for whosoever reasonsss
- And so MR LBK, I'M BACK!!! so GIVE UP ON THE IDEA OF FINDING NEW JOBS OK!!!

Life

- My dearest long-mei had left for NS
hopefully he is doing good there.
jiayou jiayou long mei!!!

- does my words really that complicated till people start to get misunderstand?
Xiao mei u ever know what am i angry with in the first place?
imagine asking someone to accompany u work cus u were alone and ended up the someone had to work alone?
comeon if this really happen on u, how will u feel?
Somehow i'm just trying to have a win-win situation
But somehow human beings are just being so selfish.
i'm trying so hard not to say anything sarastic
thats why i spend so long replying those msg.
Yet it ends up the same ending again

i dun born to have a good temper..
Patience is something i do not have
Tolerence is wad i'm trying to learn now..
but somehow i realise that the more i tolerate,
the more the ppl coming in to test my patience
WTF?
i dun understand why some ppl can be just so that irresponsible leaving the rest behind without saying anything nor replying
fucking stupid MIA
i hate it!
MIA SEEMS TO BE UR HOBBIE!
If u had forgotten what is it,
i'll remind u, k box remmeber?
at least mae did tell uncle lili,
what abt u?
ignoring all the calls and smses
and after that you can still possibly act like nothing had happen ?
WTF?
u think i'm have short term memory or loss of memory izit!
can't people like you stop testing my patience before anything goes wrong?
damn it!

*Officially a member of flying tiger team - I'm IN LOVE WITH THEM SO MUCH! - guess only ah chin realise the meaning in it! good job BRO! soOooo CrrEeevEerrrr(clever) !!!!

I MISS MY POLYMATES! I MISS EVERYONE !!!!!!

2007-06-06T13:06:00.000+08:00

Had been using wylan to online recently ... And now i'm blogging with it! How nice it would be! well ... Recently quite a couple of stuff happening around me. but what ever lar ... Shall blog it later when my comp arrive :-) a question for my readers to answer! Why does good people always die first in e show?

2007-05-22T14:51:00.000+08:00

sometime life made people miserable.
it always take two hands to clap
if one side refuse to put in effort,
nothing could be done.

had a real busy week
i start hating to study and work at the same time
i feel so shag, tired.
haix...

finally, today onwards i've graduated from TEMASEK POLY!
did not attend the graduation ceremony
did not have time to try out the attire
no regrets anyway!
i've FINALLY GRADUATED!!! waHahAHhaHA!

anyway just realised something happened in c4 recently
actually is a small matter lar
which just happened to realise that i'm one of the main actresses
i hate to get into such cases
CC isn't a nice place to be in forever
it'd make someone so lazy as times passed
i'm only a replacement.
i don't understand wads the JEALOUSY all about
come on,
its time for u to realise,
u ARENT'T the supervisor of CC
u are NOTHING at all
if u really think that u did a GREAT job inside,
go around asking the rollers and supervisors,
how SUCKING ur working attitude can be
in work, age does not stand everything
experience and capability matters
if u think that u work long enough to let to think that u have the power to make decisions for the management and whose so ever,
i can tell u something is : BULLSHIT! and go home DRINK MILK!

2007-05-15T13:38:00.000+08:00

ok before chinz start complaining, i think i'll better start blogging !!!

2007 is a good year so far ...
so much better than 2006

think i'll have a summary of my latest doings ba.

shall only update few most happening EVENT!!!

5/5
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAK SUSIELA AND MR JASON!
went to kak's birthday chalet at downtown east
though was just a normal chalet, ppl there made it happening
with all little flying tigers and not forgetting DUI ZHANG!
after that went for K with xinxin and dui zhang and later gary and boon join us.
It have been so long since we gather together le hor ...
xiang dang nian, though we were in different location, we are still able to meet up for supper de ...
but ... as times goes by, seems like we start to have our individual scheduling
well... expected isn't it !
happy goes lucky ba!

6/5
HAPPY birTHDAY apple chua!
happy 21st my dearest sis!
hope u really enjoy so much that day!

Anyway, i've receive 2 birthday gifts ahead!
A jade pendent from grandma
and A NEW HANDPHONE for parents !!
yIipPee!
Time to reshuffle my wishlist
and also time to list my birthday list!
2 months plus ahead!
time for some preparation !!!
suRpriSE!!!

Work
so far so good.
had been doing something that is quite new to me again
sometimes i wondered why should i be doing so much things when i was interviewed to be a cashier only?
will there be anyone appreciating then?
or am i just a KPO ?
or just making use of me ?
who knows ...
i've been trying hard not to think of this.
but .. whatever ...
hope this mood maintain ba

i'm so in a fatastic good mood!
hope it'll maintain till end of july !!!
waHahaHA~~!
GOD! i'm in a very good mood!!!!

2007-05-02T12:37:00.000+08:00

time for some emotional thoughts to be shared.

Finally, my house renovation is DONE! my room is so much nicer than before and i love my bed soooo much!

had some mini gathering with peeps recently,
chin pei and shu at seoul garden,
meet xiao mei and philip at 85
not forgetting jiangy's bufday celebration at sakae and acid bar!

everything just seems so perfect, happening at the right timing!
just so in love with it...
will be more fulfil with this coming weekend with ger's and kak susie's bufday!!!

working at been so so as usual.
kinda tiring working morning all these while especially working morning CC, i have to wake up an hour EARLIER! haix ... and after so long, i'm still so not used to it!
work till 5.30 then rush to school
a week 3 times
start to wonder,
why should i make myself so busy each day ...
i'm getting so so much tired each day. i hate travelling so much yet i had to do it for my future prospect.

it had been long before we sat down and chat like a group just like yesterday .
its a PH yet its onli left with me lbk dragon qiang . last time we used to get scolding from the management for talking and laughing so loud. now, the new peeps seems to make more noise then us.
as dragon go into NS, we are down by another person.
oh ... group shriking yet no recruitment advertisement.
Not much or should i say no candidate can be choose from the below.

sianz lar ...
but mood must definitely maintain!!!
it had been so long before my mood is being regain!!!
haha
jiayou everybody!

2007-04-30T01:21:00.000+08:00

i just too lazy to blog.
and busy is just an excuse i think ...

but no matter wad, i'm still busy
=D

______________________________________________________

The only word i could ever decribe the fucking attitude was - CHILDISH!